


Omnis amans amens

by gdcee



Category: Helix Waltz (Video Game)
Genre: Aphrodisiacs, Dubious Consent, Fuck Or Die, Masturbation, Multi, Oral Sex, Pheromones, Scottish!Barris, Sex Pollen, Threesome - F/F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-19 20:05:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17608046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gdcee/pseuds/gdcee
Summary: Barris's dedication to his principles may very well spell his doom when he becomes the victim of a very insidious poison.Not if Magda and Linglan have anything to say about it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juven is the one worrying over Barris for once and Asteria decides that this foolishness has gone on long enough.

Juven groaned as Helena walked out of his uncle's room looking as cool and unruffled as when she'd walked in twenty-five minutes earlier.

"Sorry," she sighed and shrugged, "I tried, but he just kept pushing me away and apologising."

"Apologising?" Juven wheezed incredulously, "What for? He didn't even do anything to you!"

"Oh, he thought I was offended and that I thought that he thought I was dirty and that he didn't think that."

Helena sniffed imperiously.

"Told him I'm not but that I don't care - used to that sort of thing. Said he was sorry about that and I said it's alright, ain't your fault, how do you want me? Anyway he said thank you but no thank you and asked me to ask you to compensate me for my trouble."

" _Trouble?_ You didn't _do_ anything!" 

"Oi, not for lack of trying!" She retorted, "I had my hand down his trousers and my tongue in his ear and he wasn't having it. Unless I tie him down and sit on his cock, sex ain't happening." 

Juven made a face. He might have been the one sending people in to help ameliorate his uncle's current unfortunate condition, but that certainly didn't mean that he wanted the mental image of said uncle's anatomy in his head.

"And before you ask, no, I'm not gonna tie him up and fuck him unless he asks for it. Seduction I can do, but anything forced is out."

"Yes," Juven groaned, massaging his aching temples, "I believe Hosta said something similar the other night."

Helena's eyes widened.

"Goddess's tits!" she exclaimed, " _Hosta_ couldn't get him to budge? Are you _sure_ he doesn't just prefer men?"

"Well, I did send a few of your men in yesterday. Most got sent out five minutes after walking in. The last guy managed seven."

"Which guy?"

"Francis."

"Ouch," Helena winced, "Poor Frankie, he's one of our most popular fellas too. That had to sting a little."

"This is _ridiculous_ ," Juven muttered and stalked to his uncle's bedroom door. He pounded on it and shouted. "Uncle Barris you are being unreasonable!"

"I am being perfectly reasonable!" Barris's muffled voice insisted.

"The doctor said that you will literally die in a matter of days if you don't have sex with someone!"

"I can handle this myself!"

"Sex is supposed to make your system flush the poison out in a matter of hours! You've been wanking off in there for _two days_!"

Helena whistled, looking rather impressed.

"And I will continue to do so until Xavier gets that cure done!"

"He says that the fastest he can get it done is by the end of the week! Will you even last that long?"

Despite the frankly ridiculous nature of this whole situation, Juven felt tears begin to well up in his eyes.

"Are you seriously telling me that you would rather die than have sex with a willing, consenting person just because you're not romantically attached to them?"

There was a long pause.

"Would _you_?" Came the muffled response.

"That's..." Juven swallowed. "That's different. I'm attached."

He shook his head and pounded on the door again.

"Don't change the subject! This isn't about me, and besides you're not with anyone so what's _your_ excuse?"

"Go away and leave me and my hand in peace!" His uncle's growl echoed from behind the door.

Juven threw his hands up in frustration. He stomped away from the door and dropped a bag of gold into Helena's hands without bothering to look at her.

He headed straight to the drawing room. Asteria was sitting in her usual spot by the window with a book in her lap. She liked this room. It overlooked the extensive gardens of the Sakan manor, so she could enjoy the view when she wanted a break from reading.

Upon hearing him walk in, she closed her book and moved to get up.

"Well?" Her eyes were wide and expectant.

Juven sighed heavily and shook his head.

Asteria uttered a rather nasty sounding curse in Elvish.

"That boy," she spat, "To think that I would see the day he behaved more childishly than you!"

"You wound me, dearest," he lamented, holding his hand to his heart, "But I agree with the sentiment." 

Juven slumped into a nearby recliner and sighed once more, burying his face in his hands. He relaxed slightly when Asteria laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and began to stroke his hair.

"Oh, dearest," he murmured, "What am I to do? He is determined to throw his life away for the sake of principle! I know he's stubborn but he's usually not _this_ inflexible."

"He has rejected every girl and most of the admittedly small number of men from Calypso," she said, "I think we may have to consider asking people from his social life."

Juven raised his face from his hands and stared at Asteria like she'd grown a second head.

"What social life?" He wheezed, "The man literally has a bed at the Ministry so he can sleep over when he's on a case! Who does he even get along with besides his staff? And while I'm sure most of them would be glad to help him out, I'm certainly not going to strut around the Ministry asking for volunteers!"

He shook his head and gritted his teeth, holding back tears of frustration, stress and worry.

"Too risky," he rasped, "Can't guarantee that the staff won't talk. The news would spread like wildfire. His reputation would be ruined."

Juven stared up at her, his teary eyes despondent and full of misery.

"What do I do, Asteria?" He whispered, "He's going to die and I can't do a damn thing to help or even make him care."

Asteria tenderly kissed his forehead and hugged him, letting him hold her and quietly sob against her shoulder.

"Rest, dear one," she soothed and kissed his cheek as she stroked his hair, "Rest. I have an idea that just might work."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The muse bit me hard for this one. I am so, so sorry.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asteria crashes a ball and explains some things to Magda and Linglan on the ride to Sakan Manor.

Asteria did not have an invitation to this social function, but that hardly mattered to her.

She approached the doors of the City Assembly Event Hall with the same confident and purposeful stride she used when she was ready to deliver the coup de grace to a monster.

The guards and footmen took one look at the faint crackle of lightning dancing along her fingers and knuckles, stepped aside, and let her pass without protest.

Asteria's sharp elven eyes scanned the crowd of partygoers for her targets. Rather conveniently for her purposes, she spotted both of them chatting amicably with each other near the drinks table.

Magda noticed her approach first and waved happily, a sweet smile of pleasant surprise on her dear, young face. The Chairman responded by turning around to face her, eyebrow quirked, her demeanour aloof but inquisitive.

"You must come with me," Asteria stated firmly before either of them could utter the usual social pleasantries.

"Wha-" Magda stared, her face a picture of complete bewilderment.

"Now listen here," Linglan glared and raised an accusing finger at her, "I don't have to do a damn thing you say-"

"Time is short," Asteria interjected, "I cannot speak here but I will explain more in the carriage. You _must_ come with me. This is a matter of life and death."

Linglan only raised her chin in a proud, indignant manner and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Oh?" She challenged, "And just what sort of matter is this that it requires the presence of the Chairman of the Chamber of Commerce and a minor noble lady?"

"Chairman Linglan," Magda entreated, "Lady Asteria is not given to exaggeration and she would not ask without good cause-"

"I didn't get this far by being a bleeding heart sucker and I don't intend to start," the fiery-haired woman snapped, "I'm not leaving until I know exactly-"

_Blood of the ancestors._

Asteria grabbed the Chairman's arm roughly and called upon her magic to transfer her thoughts.

Barris is dying, she thought, and along with that thought she pushed all the worry, all the frustration and all the helpless despair that had plagued her and the rest of the Sakan household for the past two days into Linglan's mind.

Linglan was wide-eyed and shaking when she released her. Magda quickly moved to support the pale and wobbly legged woman. She stared at Asteria, her expression a curious jumble of confusion and reproach.

"I'm alright," the Chairman gasped, "I'm alright, let's go."

Asteria silently beckoned them to follow her. They left the hall as discreetly as possible. The guards and footmen watched the little party curiously as they made their way past the gates. Asteria shot each of them a dark look that promised severe retribution if they dared to speak of this to anyone. They quickly got the message and looked away, starting blankly into space.

Asteria urged the two women into the carriage, got in after them, and instructed the coachman to ride for Sakan manor as fast as the roads and horses would allow.

Magda sat across from her, next to Linglan, still looking confused, lost and nervous.

"Asteria, what is going on?" She spoke with a worried, plaintive tone, "What is this about?"

"Two days ago," Asteria began, "Barris returned home from the Ministry in a bad state."

"Barris?" Magda leaned forward, her blue eyes wide, her voice trembling with frantic concern, "What happened, is he ill? Is he hurt?"

"He was not physically injured," Asteria assured her, "But he was and remains very ill. We were not aware of his condition until he did not come out of his room for tea, dinner or supper. Believing that something was amiss, Juven confronted him. We called for a doctor and he confirmed that Barris had been poisoned with _La Petite Mort_."

Linglan swore.

"Bloody hell," she whispered, "Who did he piss off for _that_ to happen?"

"Right now, we do not know. Lex and a few of our sources are looking into how Barris could have been exposed to the poison, but right now most of our efforts are concentrated on procuring the materials Xavier needs for the antidote."

"Wait, hold a moment," Magda held up her hand, " _Poisoned? La Petite Mort?_ I've never heard of a poison with that name."

"You wouldn't," Linglan said quietly, "It was popular about a decade back in particularly vicious fights between noble women. They would tamper with their rivals' drinks and have a good laugh when they started rubbing up against everyone like a cat in heat."

"A cat in..." Magda frowned and suddenly blushed, "You mean-"

"It is an aphrodisiac, yes," Asteria supplied helpfully, "It was listed as a banned substance after several women died when they attempted to resist the effects of the poison. The longest anyone ever survived was a week. Most did not last beyond four."

Magda turned pale. Her eyes grew wet and shiny and she raised one trembling hand to cover her mouth. Linglan awkwardly leaned forward and patted her on the back.

"Not to sound insensitive," the Chairman said carefully, "But it seems obvious to me what the cure is. Just stick one of the Calypso girls in his room and let him work the poison out of his system."

"We've tried that. With women and men. He just keeps sending them away. He insists on holding out until Xavier can deliver the antidote."

"What the-" Linglan's mouth hung open, utterly gobsmacked. She gibbered and gesticulated violently for a minute before her powers of speech returned to her.

" _Is he out of his bloody mind?_ " She bellowed, "He hasn't taken a damned vow of chastity, and even if he has, that's not something he should let himself _die_ for!"

Magda stifled a sob at the mention of death.

"What about that antidote then?" Linglan demanded, "You said Xavier just needs the materials to get it done, I can get my people to speed up procurement-"

"The antidote is experimental and was successful in only half of the cases in which it was administered. Further research in the Spire was discontinued after the ban due to lack of funding and interest. It is a valid option but not a guaranteed cure."

"Could he..." Magda asked softly, "Could he not just..." she blushed fiercely. " _Take care of things_ himself?"

"He _has_ been taking care of himself," Asteria said dryly, "For two days. It has had no effect."

Linglan groaned and smacked her palm against her face.

"Okay, let me see if I've got this right," she muttered, "You're sending _us_ in to help him deal with his problem? I understand sending Lady Ellenstein - Pickled Ginger has a sickeningly _obvious_ soft spot for her, but why am _I_ here?"

"He speaks highly of you and often praises your business acumen, intelligence and knowledge of legal ethics," Asteria said.

"Yes, and I occasionally admit that he might be handsome if he didn't scowl so much and that he's infinitely better than the last Minister of Justice we had," Linglan drawled, "Doesn't mean that I like him or want to sleep with him."

"I don't know about sleeping," Magda said hesitantly, "But in my experience, Barris only praises you if he likes you."

"What?" The Chairman made an odd expression, like she couldn't decide whether to be flattered or offended, "Are you telling me he's been flirting with me and I didn't even know?"

"Barris is, admittedly more subtle in indicating his affections than one would expect of a Sakan," Asteria acknowledged, "It is his way. On that note-"

She fixed Linglan with a calm, steady gaze.

"To my knowledge," she continued, "You and Lady Ellenstein are the only people he speaks of in favourable terms, often and without prompting. I do not have the time to puzzle out which of you he prefers, so I decided it was most expedient to simply bring you both."

The carriage turned violently, causing Magda to fall against Linglan and Linglan to get squished against the carriage window. Asteria remained motionless in her seat, her hands elegantly folded in her lap.

There was a loud whinny from the horses and the carriage came to an abrupt halt.

"We have arrived," Asteria declared. She opened the carriage door and leapt out with the ease and grace that only elven blood could bestow.

"Little Sister," she murmured to Magda as she helped her out of the carriage, "Forgive me for asking this of you."

"There is nothing to forgive, dear sister," Magda grasped her hand and squeezed, smiling through her tears, "I...I am fond of Barris. He saved my life. I want to help him now if he will let me."

"Chairman," she politely helped Linglan out, "Would you prefer to negotiate the nature of your compensation before or after you see Barris?"

"Why does everyone think it's all about money with me?" Linglan sighed, "Just let us see him before he dies from his own stupidity. We can talk compensation later."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The doctor gives Juven some unexpected news and the ladies arrive in Sakan manor.

Juven watched the doctor walk out of his uncle's room. The man looked oddly flushed and discombobulated.

"No change in his physical condition," he said a little breathlessly, "But I have some good news."

"Thank the Goddess," Juven heaved a sigh of relief and made a mental note to give a _very_ generous donation the next time he saw Florna, "What is it?"

"I will need to run some tests on the blood and sweat samples I took to be sure, but if my suspicions are correct, it appears that his system has begun to produce pheromones."

Juven's jaw dropped.

"How is that _good_ news?" He wheezed.

"Well, it should make the next person you send in more amenable to engaging in sexual activity with him."

" _Doctor_ ," Juven gritted his teeth, "The issue is not with the people I have been sending in, it is with _my uncle_. He refuses to fuck them!"

"Oh," the doctor nodded slowly, a look of realization settling over his face, "I thought it was rather strange that nothing had happened yet. He _is_ quite an attractive specimen-"

"Please don't finish that sentence," Juven groaned and covered his face with his hand, "So how bad are these pheromones? And for that matter, _why_ is he producing them? I don't recall any mention of pheromones in the records of previous cases."

"Ah, now that is a very good question," the doctor said brightly, looking far too enthusiastic and excited about this new revelation, "You may recall that all the victims in previous recorded cases of _La Petite Mort_ poisonings were women. To this date, there are no known cases of male victims. It may very well be that the poison affects men differently."

He sighed happily.

" _Fascinating_ stuff, it really would be most enlightening to continue observing-"

"Back on topic," Juven interjected sharply, "What is the nature of these pheromones? If I walk in there now, will I suddenly have the urge to-"

He shuddered in disgust, unable to continue with that train of thought.

"Oh no, Goddess, _no_ ," the doctor chortled, "You may feel some uncomfortable flushing and arousal but nothing that will overtake your mind and morals."

Honestly, that clarification didn't make him feel any less ill. He thanked the Goddess that at least Barbara wasn't in the house - she'd been having a fortnight long sleepover with Nyx at the Bavlenka Mansion when all this trouble had started.

He dreaded to think of how difficult it would have been to send her away if she'd been present at the time. Knowing Barbara, she would have dug her heels in and refused to budge. Even worse, she might have _pretended_ to leave and come back with the Eyas in tow.

Now, Juven liked to think of himself as a practical man who was willing to use whatever methods were necessary to solve a problem - within reason.

Sending poor, inexperienced Magda Ellenstein in to deal with a randy, sexually frustrated man was simply not an option he was willing to entertain - regardless of the quiet affection she and said man appeared to have for each other.

True, there was no evidence that the Eyas was an innocent, but her reactions to his flirty, teasing banter made it clear to him that she was quite inexperienced in the arts of romance and seduction.

Agh. His mind was wandering - the result of too much stress and too little sleep, no doubt. Juven mentally rolled back through the information he'd been told and latched on to the one possibility of a silver lining.

"Given the evidence that men may react differently to _La Petite Mort_ , is it possible that my uncle will not suffer the same fate as those women?"

"Now, that I cannot say for certain," the doctor sighed and shook his head, "His fever has not lessened and his heart rate and blood pressure are still far above normal levels. He is still mostly in his right mind, but there were indications of mild delirium in my last two examinations. Besides the presence of pheromones, everything fits the known symptoms and progression."

So much for a silver lining. He could feel that lump in his throat again. Evidently that crying session he'd had with Asteria earlier had not gotten all the tears out of his system.

"Thank you, doctor," he said haltingly, "Go...go run your tests. Let me know if anything useful turns up."

The man bowed briskly and hurried away in the direction of the makeshift laboratory he'd set up in one of the guest rooms.

"For your information," Juven shouted at his uncle's door, intentionally giving it a wide berth, "If you survive this you owe me _at least_ two months of not nagging me about paperwork!"

There was no response.

Juven walked away, his stride weary and his heart heavy. He made his way to the main hall, intending to head for the kitchens to get a cup of coffee (and perhaps nip down to the cellar for a bit of brandy later).

At that moment, Asteria strode in through the main doors with Magda Ellenstein and Chairman Linglan in tow.

He very nearly had a heart attack right then and there.

"What the fuuuuuuuuu...udge," he stretched out the curse into something more innocuous, unwilling to swear in front of the Eyas, " _Asteria-_ "

"I have apprised Lady Ellenstein and the Chairman of the situation," she interjected, "They have agreed to help."

"While I highly doubt Uncle is going to allow Chairman Linglan within striking distance of his sensitive bits, I can understand bringing _her_ , she at least has _some_ experience under her belt - no offence intended, Chairman."

"None taken," Linglan said dryly.

"But the _Eyas_?" Juven gestured towards Magda, his red-rimmed eyes wild and frantic, "Asteria, are you _mad_? That's like sending a rabbit into a fox's den!"

"I am not a rabbit," Magda said firmly, an indignant frown on her pretty face, "I know what I am doing."

"Do you?" Juven turned to her, his gaze stern and demanding, "Pray tell, Eyas, what _do_ you know of what happens between a man and a woman?"

Magda turned red and glanced away, unwilling to meet his eyes.

"No, no, please, _speak_ ," he challenged, "I won't judge. Tell me what you intend to do with Uncle Barris."

"Leave her alone," the Chairman snapped, "You're making her uncomfortable."

" _Uncomfortable?_ " Juven laughed, "If I'm making her uncomfortable _now_ , how is she going to feel when she has to perform the act with him?"

Asteria smacked him briskly across the face. Juven winced briefly at the sting and glowered at her accusingly.

"That," she said calmly, her gaze held his own, unflinching, "Was uncalled for."

"I am not letting an untried, inexperienced young woman-"

"This untried, inexperienced young woman is an adult," Magda interrupted, "And she can make her own decisions."

"Look, if it makes you feel any better I'll go in with her," the Chairman stood next to Magda and clapped her hand on the younger woman's shoulder in a friendly, supportive gesture, "I'll make sure he doesn't break her or anything."

Juven opened his mouth to protest. Asteria clapped her hand over his mouth and shot him a dark look.

"Up the stairs and to your right," she said, "It's the first big door on the left side of the corridor. It has Celtic knotwork carvings along the sides, you can't miss it. If you feel threatened at any time, call for me as loud as you can. I will hear and come to your aid."

Magda nodded, her mouth set in a firm, determined line. She grabbed Linglan's hand and ran for the stairs.

"This is a bad idea," Juven groaned as he watched them dash out of sight, "This is the worst idea in the history of bad ideas."

"We are out of options," Asteria reminded him firmly, "You know that he is fond of at least one of them. If anyone can get him to see reason, it's them."

Juven knew that Asteria was right. He knew that this was the last best option.

Still, this solution did not sit well with him. The Eyas was bright, capable, clever and quick-thinking, but she was still only a young woman unlearned in the ways of worldly, physical pleasures. She deserved a slow, gentle introduction, not this hurried dump into the deep end of the pool.

"...shit," he muttered.

"What is it now?"

"I didn't tell them about the pheromones."

" _Pheromones?_ " Asteria frowned, "Since when is that a symptom of _La Petite Mort_?"

Juven sighed.

He was definitely going to need that brandy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, no smut yet, sorry. Added dub con to the tags on behalf of Barris. 
> 
> He's mostly lucid and still conscious enough to say no, but he's in a bit of an altered state due to mental and physical exhaustion, not to mention the effects of the poison. 
> 
> He's strictly speaking not in a position to give consent, regardless of whether he wants to get it on with Magda and Linglan or not.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barris attempts to take care of his problem for the nth time, thinks about stuff and feels guilty about stuff.

Barris leaned back in his favourite rolling chair and sighed deeply.

Tired.

He was so _fucking_ tired.

He ceased his contemplation of his bedroom ceiling for a moment and glared down at the _thing_ between his legs that had been the bane of his existence for the past two days.

" _I hate you,_ " he growled venomously, "I hope you shrivel up and fall off, you worthless prick."

His cock only twitched impudently in reply against his stomach.

Barris grabbed a towel from the large pile that the doctor had had a servant leave a little while back. He wiped the sweat from his face and neck, thankful to feel slightly less sticky and filthy.

Was it time for him to take a bath again? Goddess, even with all the windows open it felt like a bloody sauna in his room.

He would probably feel better if he wasn't wearing anything but stripping down completely naked was not an option, considering how many people Juven kept sending into his room.

Barris found the notion of his aroused bits being visible and on full display to anyone he did not want to sleep with to be quite distressing.

That nagging thought at the back of his head that he was being illogical pushed forward into his consciousness again.

He was being illogical, he knew that. He would have been spared this agony long ago if he'd just picked any one of the Calypso girls and fucked her until the damned poison was out of his system.

No, no, he shouldn't be thinking that way. The girls at the brothel were people, he shouldn't be thinking about them like they were just things to stick his cock into.

Well, it's not as if they would care, that annoying voice said, they offer the use of their bodies as a service. They're willing and happy to let you pay them and fuck them.

"But I don't want to," Barris declared plaintively to the empty room, "I don't want to fuck someone I don't know and don't care for just because I'm aroused."

_Not even if it kills you?_

"I'm hardly going to die," he scoffed, "There's an antidote. I just have to sit tight and hold out for a..."

Barris heaved a tired sigh.

"...few more days. I take the antidote, I'm right as rain and all without betraying my feelings."

In any case, relentless physical arousal aside, he was quite sure fucking any of the Calypso girls would not have been a pleasant experience. It had already been deeply unpleasant to have his bits fondled by the last girl to walk in. What was her name again? Helen?

She was a nice girl, regardless of how uncomfortable she'd made him feel. All of them were very nice and professional about this whole awful, ridiculous mess. Hosta in particular had been very patient and understanding, but in the end his head wouldn't let him go through with it even though his body was screaming for relief.

The problem wasn't them, it was him. Him and his stupid, illogical heart.

No. He would just have to endure until he got that antidote.

He sighed again and closed his eyes.

Tired.

So very, very tired.

And still his damned cock refused to let him rest.

"How many times have I pulled you off?" He glared down at the offending organ. "I'm surprised I still even still _have_ anything left in my balls."

Barris groaned in frustrated defeat and wrapped his hand around his cock.

One more time then.

One more time.

His normal procedure was to take things slow - to bring himself to the edge a few times and to savour and draw out his pleasure in the moments before reaching the satisfying conclusion.

There had been no satisfying conclusion in the past two days. There wasn't even much in the way of pleasure.

Oh yes, his cock was still sensitive and it still felt nice to have his hand on it, but that _itch_ , that awful, annoying, frustrating, aching, never-ending _itch_ meant that instead of enjoying and savouring, he just rushed headlong into release in a vain attempt to relieve himself, if only for a moment.

Barris was so tired he barely registered that familiar tightening sensation at the base of his cock and in his balls. He sighed quietly in relief as he spilled onto his hand and stomach, the maddening itch receding for a time.

He quickly wiped himself off with the towel, making sure not linger and accidentally stimulate himself back to full mast. He stuffed his half limp cock back into his drawers and buttoned his trousers back up.

Hopefully that would keep the bugger down for a little longer this time.

Barris supposed he should be grateful that he hadn't hallucinated Magda again. The last time she'd popped up, she had been lying on his bed with her skirts hiked up to her waist and her fingers in her cunt while she writhed about and moaned his name.

The most confusing but oddly stimulating hallucinations were the ones where _Chairman Linglan_ of all people appeared with Magda. Oh Goddess, he had to try to forget those or he'd never be able to look Linglan in the eye again without blushing.

The very worst hallucinations were the ones where he imagined Magda touching him. Those were the worst because those were the ones he wanted to be real.

Guilty.

So fucking _guilty_.

Magda Ellenstein trusted him, believed him to be a good and decent man and this was how he repaid her - by reducing her to an object of lust. She was so much more than that. She was brave, quick-witted and bright. Through all the challenges Finsel had thrown at her, she had not only learned how to survive but to thrive, all without losing her sweet, kind nature. She was someone who could change Finsel, and yet he was thinking about what her mouth would feel like on his cock.

He respected Chairman Linglan. He admired her drive, her determination and that hidden core of goodness and principle that she kept hidden under her seemingly aloof exterior. She was a good woman. For all their differences, he considered her a friend. She was accomplished, she was intelligent and his mind stripped all of that from her and turned her into a moaning, mindless creature.

He was a terrible friend and a terrible person all around. 

Well, he thought, look on the bright side. Should the worst happen, at least neither of them would ever know what a treacherous serpent they had allowed to nestle against their bosoms.

Damn it. He was being illogical again. Also, he really shouldn't be thinking about Magda or Linglan's bosoms. Or about nestling against them. He was trying to keep that annoying _thing_ in his trousers under control not think it back to life.

He desperately needed to rest. He probably didn't have long before that cursed _itch_ came back in full force and he'd have to start the whole shameful, uncomfortable, unpleasant process of pulling himself off all over again.

Barris attempted to relax and drift off into sleep. Perhaps this time he wouldn't be jolted back into forced wakefulness by the pressure of his cock straining against his trousers and/or another hallucination.

"Hey, Pickled Ginger. You awake?"

Barris opened his eyes and blinked wearily.

Linglan was leaning over him with poorly concealed worry in her eyes. Magda stood behind her, concern, pity and sadness written all over the features of her lovely face.

Well. So much for not hallucinating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first time I have attempted to write masturbation from a male perspective. Hopefully it's not completely terrible.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Linglan is bossy, Magda is a little unhappy about that, and Barris is away with the fairies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scottish!Barris makes an appearance. Because I like that headcanon and I have no self control.

"Alright," Linglan grumbled, "My intention is to get this ridiculous matter over and done with as quickly as possible. So if he goes for me, you go home and I put an end to all this nonsense. If he goes for you, I stay and make sure he doesn't hurt you."

"You mean you're going to," Magda swallowed nervously and blushed, " _Watch?_ "

Linglan sighed and brushed a hand through her red hair.

"I know it'll be embarrassing for you, but the Viscount isn't wrong to be worried. I was already in society when _La Petite Mort_ was still common, so I know what it does. It's the second day now, so delirium has probably set in. That means confusion, reduced mental function and possibly hallucinations."

"I understand that he's not in his right mind," Magda retorted plaintively, "But he's still _Barris_. I want to help him. Anyway, why do _I_ have to go home if he goes after you? Shouldn't I stay as well to make sure _you_ don't get hurt?"

"Magda, this isn't my first time having sex," Linglan said, "I'm pretty sure this is yours though, and this is hardly an ideal situation for anyone's first time."

Magda opened her mouth to protest again, but Linglan interrupted and spoke over her.

"Look, just follow my lead," she said sharply, making full use of her authoritative Chairman voice, "And if it bothers you to have me watching you, pretend I'm not there."

Magda frowned, but decided not to press the issue, since the Chairman clearly wasn't interested in hearing anything more.

They stopped in front of the door that Asteria had described. Magda took a deep breath, turned the doorknob and walked in, Linglan following close behind.

The first thing Magda noticed upon entering Barris's room was how _warm_ it was. She wondered if she should open a window, but a quick glance revealed that all of them were open.

She spotted Barris sitting in a Rayorcan-style rolling chair near a large pile of towels. He had one of them bundled up in his hands and lying on his stomach. It looked a little damp.

As for Barris himself...he looked terrible. He appeared to be sleeping; he was very still and his eyes were closed, but the evidence of exhaustion and stress were all too visible on his face. His face was damp from sweat and a feverish flush covered his cheeks and neck. His hair was messy, loose short locks flopping onto his forehead rather than hastily pushed back as was his usual style. He wasn't wearing any shirt, shoes or socks - just his trousers.

He also had a beard.

A very, very nice beard. Quite curiously, it was noticeably redder than his strawberry blond hair.

She wondered how it would feel like if he-

Magda shook her head and flushed, wondering where _that_ thought had come from.

"Poor stupid bugger," Linglan tsked and moved towards him cautiously, "Have to say though...the scruffy bum look is strangely appealing. I'm surprised he doesn't smell awful." She sniffed and hummed, contemplative. "Yes...not too bad at all, actually. Weird."

She leaned over him and snapped her fingers in front of his face.

"Hey, Pickled Ginger. You awake?"

Barris's eyes opened and he blinked blearily, his cloudy, unfocused gaze moving over them slowly.

"Well," he said, his voice rough and deep in a way that sent a odd little shiver along her skin, "This is new. You both have your clothes on."

Magda squeaked, heat rushing straight to her face. Had he...been fantasizing about her for the past two days? And Linglan? Oh goddess, had he been imagining Linglan and her _together_?

_Why was that idea so appealing to her?_

Linglan turned as red as her hair. Before Magda could stop her, she slapped Barris _hard_ across his face.

Barris's expression showed no sign of pain or shock. It remained dull, tired and apathetic.

Suddenly, he grinned madly and began to laugh.

"Well!" He exclaimed between fits of hysterical laughter, " _That_ felt terribly real! My mind has finally gone it seems! Goodbye Mr. Brain, it's been nice knowing you!"

"Holy shit," Linglan whispered, "He's even worse than I thought."

"Barris," Magda rushed forward and ignoring all the things that Juven and Linglan had told her, she cradled his face in her hands, "You're not imagining this! I'm here, Linglan is here, we came to help you!"

"Oh, love," he sighed, "Oh my _leannan sìth_ , do you know why I _know_ you are not real? Why I know _none_ of this is real?"

His shaking hand reached up to stroke her cheek. Despite the nature of the situation, Magda couldn't help but lean into his touch, her heart thumping wildly in her chest at that single word he had called her.

"Because I _know_ Juven would never ask you to do this. Neither would he ask the Chairman, he knows that she'd probably bite my cock off."

"Pickles, I assure you that I'll only _bite_ if you ask me nicely," Linglan purred.

Magda turned to her friend, her eyes wide with confusion.

_What was she doing?_

"Pickles?" Barris chuckled, suddenly rising from his chair, "Now, that is odd. I recall the last time you appeared you were calling me _Minister_."

"Ha," she scoffed, crossing her arms in such a way as to emphasise her bosom, "As if you could _make_ me."

Barris stalked around Linglan, his hand carefully, slowly caressing her waist and hips. Linglan breathed in heavily, her eyes following him keenly.

Magda felt hot and uncomfortable in way she couldn't quite articulate.

This was like watching Barris and Linglan dance. Magda could never take her eyes off them when they danced.

They'd whirl across the ballroom, their eyes flashing, Linglan's teeth bared in a challenging grin, Barris's face calm and placid except for that unmistakable twitch of a smirk at the corner of his mouth.

They looked so _good_ together and yet...when she watched them dance, she didn't know whether she wanted to tear Linglan away from Barris and take her place or to somehow sandwich herself between the two of them.

Magda watched the muscles of his shoulders and his back as he moved. She wanted to touch him, to put her mouth on him and lick the sweat from his skin, but she couldn't seem to make herself move.

She just stood, helpless, as Barris leaned in until he was only inches away from Linglan's face.

"If I recall," he murmured, "You were quite happy to refer to me by my proper title after I made you come...four times, was it?"

"You're giving yourself far too much credit, _Pickles_ ," Linglan drawled.

Barris smiled, dark, sharp and slightly threatening. It was similar to that look that he'd had when the servants had brought him a length of rope to tie up the Paola assassin. Magda had been too shaken at the time to pay it any heed, but her mind had remembered and had recreated that look in her dreams.

Those embarrassing, exciting dreams that left her so warm and aching between her legs that she would have to touch and rub herself to relieve her tension.

Magda hated this. She wanted Barris to look at her like that, to touch her and speak to her the way he spoke to Linglan.

"Magda," Linglan hissed, "Magda, you can go, I have this covered."

That's rather unfair, a petulant voice in her head said, for you to shoo me away like that. You wanted to stay and watch _me_ , didn't you?

"So shy, my Lady Chairman?" Barris huffed. His hands spanned her waist and slowly slid up so that he was almost touching her breasts. "I don't recall you being so concerned about _modesty_ the last time. Or the seven times before that."

He was speaking differently than usual, with a slight sing-song cadence and a subtle, purring roll of his rs. This wasn't the first time Magda had heard him fall back to the Highland accent of his mother, and as always it made her feel warm and fluttery inside.

Linglan glared and opened her mouth, likely to scold him again. Instead of an insult, a jittery, breathy gasp left her lips as he kissed and licked the side of her neck.

Barris was not looking at Linglan.

He was looking at Magda.

His gaze was intense, seductive - _challenging_. Magda couldn't look away - didn't _want_ to look away.

"I don't think you're going to leave at all, are you?" He laved his tongue over Linglan's pulse point, making her shiver. " _Leannan sìth?_ "

"I...I did," Magda whispered hoarsely, "Want to help."

She found herself walking closer, her feet moving seemingly without any conscious thought on her part.

"Magda, _I_ know what I'm doing," Linglan said sternly, " _Do you?_ You better not do something you'll end up regretting."

Regret? Right now, the only thing Magda knew that she would regret would be leaving the man she wanted and cared for deeply, alone with Linglan. Even if she was her friend, even if Barris was supposed to be dangerous right now, even if Linglan was doing this out of a desire to protect her - leaving was something she absolutely could not do.

"I'm sick of watching you dance with him," Magda said quietly, "And doing nothing. With how much you're trying to make me go away, you're acting as if you want him all to yourself!"

"What the-" Linglan gaped at her, "You think I'm doing this because I _want_ to sleep with him?"

"You're certainly acting that way!"

"Well, fine, maybe I do, but sex doesn't have to mean anything!"

"Ah, jealousy," Barris sighed, looking vaguely bored, even as he casually began undoing the buttons at the back of Linglan's dress. "This must be the most tiresome and unrealistic scenario my beleaguered mind has come up with yet."

"Unrealistic?" Magda demanded, "How is it unrealistic that I would be unhappy about being left out?"

"Oh, you don't remember?"

He frowned, looking vaguely befuddled when Linglan slapped his hands away and quickly undid the rest of her buttons herself. Barris looked at Magda, and for a moment, she thought she saw a glimmer of his normal self in his eyes.

"You're never left out," he said, "You never _leave_. Doesn't matter how many filthy things my mind comes up with, you're _always_ there."

Magda flushed, whether from embarrassment or arousal at his frank words, she didn't know. Her mortification must have been very obvious, because Barris moved closer, chuckling quietly, a faint hint of a smirk at the corner of his mouth.

"So, playing the untried innocent, are we?" He murmured, "Alright then, _leannan sìth_ , I'll play your game."

He traced his finger from the first button of her blouse to the middle of her chest, between her breasts.

"Which is more embarrassing to you?" He purred, making sure to emphasise the roll of his rs, "Undressing yourself or allowing me to do it?"

Magda shivered, all excitement and nervousness, and started undoing her blouse so quickly she popped a few of her buttons.

"Huh," Linglan commented as she slipped out of her dress, leaving herself in only her Rayorcan style underthings. "So, you're actually...into this."

"You're the one who wanted to _watch_ me."

"Yeah but not in a sexual way. You nobles still have people watch you fuck on the wedding night, don't you?"

"Bedding ceremonies were officially outlawed 182 years ago," Barris stated blankly.

"I'm surprised you can still remember that piece of trivia given your current condition," Linglan muttered.

Magda threw her blouse in Linglan's face. She sputtered for a moment, and yanked the tangled fabric from her head, her eyes flashing with fiery indignation. Before she could say anything else, Magda grabbed her by her hair and kissed her.

"Tongue!" Linglan gasped, pulling herself back, "Too much tongue!"

"...sorry," Magda muttered, glancing away in embarrassment.

This wasn't quite the way she had envisioned that happening. Admittedly, she didn't have much experience when it came to kissing, but she had thought it would at least feel nicer.

"So enthusiastic," Barris rumbled. He smoothed his hands over Magda's bare shoulders and kissed the back of her neck. "Could do with some improvement, but nevertheless, a commendable effort."

Warm. No, he wasn't just warm, he was _burning up_. How high was his fever? How was he even still standing and coherent?

He pressed another kiss over the spot where her shoulder met her neck, the brush of his beard over her skin both ticklish and sensual. Magda shivered at the pleasant tingling sensation and made a soft, almost sleepy hum of pleasure.

"Perhaps a lesson, then?" Barris leaned over Magda's shoulder and she turned her face to meet his dark, hungry gaze. "What shall it be, _leannan sìth_? Learn by watching?"

He caressed the full, pouting swell of her lower lip with his thumb. "Or by doing?"

Their noses and mouths were almost touching. She could feel the hot gust of his breath against her parted lips.

"The second," Magda whispered, "Show me."

Barris slanted his mouth over hers, his movements unhurried, as he had all the time in the world to show her how to kiss. His hands slowly moved over the dip of her corseted waist and the flare of her hips.

"Vary your movements," he murmured in the breaths between his kisses, "Slower now. Not so hard - that's right."

She grasped the back of Barris's head and deepened the kiss, licking playfully at the seam of his mouth. He nipped at her lower lip, making her gasp.

She glanced at Linglan. The Chairman was blushing, her eyes heavy-lidded and flicking back and forth between Magda and Barris, as if she didn't know which one of them to look at.

You wanted to watch, Magda thought, grinning a little wickedly. So, _watch_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leannan sìth - a fairy woman; generally depicted as a beautiful muse who offers inspiration to an artist in exchange for their love and devotion. This frequently results in madness for the artist, as well as premature death.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magda learns something new, Linglan learns how to say please and Barris is still away with the fairies.

It seemed that Linglan was not content with simply watching. The moment Magda and Barris parted to catch their breaths, Linglan pulled her aside and with a muttered: "I can't believe I'm doing this.", pressed her lips to Magda's.

Her second time kissing Linglan was much better than the first. It felt different from kissing Barris. Linglan used her tongue less than him and her teeth more, but her lips were soft and plush and she made very pretty noises - especially when Barris started kissing the parts of her breasts left uncovered by her Rayorcan brassiere.

Trousers, skirt, brassiere, underwear, chemise and corset were quickly removed - a little too quickly for Magda's liking; she would have preferred to linger and explore, but then Barris was kissing her, his big hands warm on her bare waist and he asked her in his deep, purring burr if she wanted to try kissing _other_ places.

Giddy and flushed with desire and excitement, Magda was all too happy to agree.

Somehow, they all ended up on the bed, Barris sitting up, his back against the headboard, with Linglan lying against his chest. Her legs were spread and she breathed and sighed quietly as he stroked and rubbed her cunt.

Curious, Magda knelt between Linglan's legs. Barris's fingers were on his friend's cunt, holding her flushed folds open and spread for Magda to see.

Magda licked her lips. She was pretty, dark pink, shiny and wet. Barris's free hand cupped Linglan's breast and rolled her nipple between his fingers. She moaned, and Magda watched in fascination as Linglan's cunt twitched and clenched.

"You lazy piece of shit," Linglan swore, "You gonna make her do _your_ job?"

"Mm," Barris hummed against Linglan's ear, "I think it's rather selfish to deny her the privilege of tasting your cunt, isn't it?"

"You're just too much of a wuss to eat me out yourself-"

Oh for goddess's sake, Magda thought, _shut up_. She pressed her mouth against Linglan's cunt and licked. She tasted mostly of salt and musk - a mild taste with an undertone of something strangely sweet. It was rather pleasant actually.

" _Holy shit,_ " Linglan wheezed, her voice rising an octave higher. Magda stifled a giggle. She'd never heard that sort of voice from the Chairman before.

"Shall I direct the _leannan sìth_ or would you prefer to tell her how to fuck you?"

His finger circled the little bud of flesh above the slit where Magda's mouth was. Linglan bit her lip and made a strangled, stifled sound. Magda thought about all the times she had touched herself after those dreams.

_What had she done to make herself feel good?_

She licked Linglan again, opening her mouth wider so that she could lap at her slick entrance.

Linglan's head lolled back against Barris's shoulder, her breathing quiet and strained.

"Nothing to say, my Lady Chairman?"

Linglan mumbled something too soft to be intelligible.

"I'm sorry," Barris said mildly. His finger pressed down on the bud, drawing another strangled gasp from the Chairman. "I couldn't quite hear that. Could you, _leannan sìth_?"

Magda shook her head. She delicately flicked her tongue over the folds of Linglan's slit, just under where Barris's fingers were. She felt heat bloom in her body at the breathy, high-pitched sound Linglan made. The feeling only grew when she glanced up and was met by Barris's intense gaze, focused intently on her.

"Fine," Linglan finally said, her tone somehow sharp and commanding despite her flushed, breathless state, "Put your tongue in me, and you-" she glowered at Barris, "Rub my clit."

"You know you could say please," Magda muttered.

"Oh my fucking Goddess, _you too_?" Linglan groaned, "No wonder you and Pickles like each other- ah!" Barris's face was completely calm and deadpan as he pulled at Linglan's nipple and pinched her clit at the same time.

"It's just a word," he said calmly, his finger slowly, torturously circling her clit with delicate, feather-light touches. "It shouldn't be hard to say _one word_."

Magda smoothed her hands over Linglan's trembling thighs and dragged her tongue along the folds of her cunt, deliberately ignoring her earlier commands.

Linglan was shaking now, breathing heavily and not even bothering to hold back her high-pitched keens and moans.

"...please put your tongue in my cunt," she said quietly, "And..." She swallowed. "Touch my clit. Please."

Magda thrust her tongue into Linglan's cunt as deep as she could manage. She tried to mimic the way she moved her own fingers when she touched herself, circling and moving in and out.

At the same time, Barris pressed two fingers against his friend's clit and began to rub and stroke her more vigorously. In an almost sweet gesture, he kissed her cheek, as if to reward her for saying please.

Magda relished the way Linglan's thighs shook under her hands; the way her hips bucked against her mouth and Barris's fingers, eager and greedy for pleasure.

He moved his hand away from Linglan, but before she could complain about that, Magda's mouth replaced his fingers at Linglan's clit, licking and sucking at the sensitive, throbbing bud.

" _Fuck,_ " Linglan whined as Barris kissed the corner of her mouth and his hands teased her breasts." _Fuck, fuck-_ "

The sunlight from the open windows caught in their hair, red-gold and crimson, like fire and blood.

Oh Goddess, they really did look _beautiful_ together.

Suddenly, Linglan's hands, which had been clenched in the bedsheets since the start, grasped Magda's head roughly, pushing her against her cunt.

Surprised, Magda made a soft muffled noise of complaint and dragged her teeth over the hood of Linglan's clit. One of her hands released Magda's head and flew up to clamp over her own mouth, stifling her cries.

"Oh no, you don't," Barris growled and pulled her hand away from her mouth. "If you're going to come loud, then you bloody well come loud or not at all."

" _Fuck you,_ " Linglan hissed, then cried out as his fingers rubbed and pulled at her nipples at the same time Magda carefully set her teeth around her clit and sucked.

Linglan grasped Barris by the back of his head and kissed him roughly, moaning, gasping and sighing into his mouth as her back arched and her body shook and writhed in her release.

So pretty, Magda thought, and pressed her tongue against her again, carefully, but Linglan flinched and made a soft, unhappy noise.

Magda quickly drew back.

Linglan was evidently a little more sensitive than her after finishing.

"Sorry," she kissed the side of Linglan's knee apologetically.

"S'alright," Linglan groaned. She patted Magda's head affectionately. "Oh Goddess, that was _good_..."

She leaned back against Barris and smiled at him. From the dazed and vaguely befuddled expression on Barris's face, it seemed that whatever it was he had done in his fantasies, it hadn't ended with Linglan looking quite so pleased and genuinely happy.

Linglan deliberately undulated her hips, grinding herself against his lap. Barris groaned and he breathed out heavily, his expression almost pained.

"Feels like you've got a pretty _big_ problem back there," she quipped.

"Compliments," he huffed, "One more reason I know you're not the real Chairman."

Linglan turned around and coaxed Barris to lie down on the bed. She kissed his chest and glanced up at him, her heavy-lidded eyes full of mischief.

"You know I ought to tie you up for being such an ass," she purred.

Barris shot her a look that was somehow both aroused and unamused.

"Oh don't give me that look. I can be nice when I want to," Linglan smirked and looked over at Magda, who had gotten up a short while ago to find herself a towel.

Oh Goddess, Magda thought as she wiped the lower part of her face with the towel. I can't believe I just did that.

She'd never really considered doing _that_ to a woman before, but...it had been fun. It had felt good to make Linglan come and to watch her.

She thought about how Barris had looked at her while her mouth was on Linglan's cunt - all hungry and dark - and she felt that familiar pleasurable ache between her thighs intensify.

Without really thinking, Magda cupped her hand over her cunt and slipped her fingers between her folds. She pulled her hand away, her fingers shiny from her own wetness and wondered whether it was considered bad form to touch oneself in this sort of setting.

Her thoughts about whether it would be nice to kiss Barris in other places besides his mouth were interrupted by Linglan's voice.

"Hey, Magda!" She called, "You want to learn how to suck a cock?"

_Ooooooh._

Magda finished wiping herself clean and nodded a touch more enthusiastically than was perhaps appropriate (not that anything about this situation was in the least bit appropriate).

"And bring a couple more towels, would you?" Linglan called again, "We're going to need them."


End file.
